The Unlikely Sisterhood of Miscarriage

Guest post by author Karin Holmes

When I lost my baby in July 2011 to a miscarriage, I made a new acquaintance. It was an unpleasant one – loneliness that also brought his good friend depression along.Read More »

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Trek to Honour Finn

Guest post by Lauren Holden, Finn’s Mum

My husband, Paul, and I were so thrilled to be expecting our first baby. We were both in our forties and excited about introducing our child to all the wonderful people, places and creatures in the world. The nursery was ready and we had spent months choosing the absolute best for our baby.Read More »

A Song for Buddy

Guest post by Rosco Tyler, musician and Buddy’s Dad
Anna and I lost our son in June 2013. His name was Buddy and he was stillborn at 42 weeks. It’s truly quite difficult to express the hurt I felt upon losing Buddy. Experiencing a significant loss placed me at a crossroads where I could have hit rock bottom, or reached for the stars. The healing process is monumental but I’m blessed to have a beautiful, strong, and loving wife and inspirational family. I’m also fortunate to have, quite possibly, the best group of mates anybody could ask for.

The song ‘Hurts Like Hell’ is a tribute to our Son, and all the parents, family, and loved ones who have experienced the tragic loss of a child. ‘Saying goodbye, before having the opportunity to say hello’ is a devastating loss to contend with.

With help from four of my good friends and old bandmates, I was able to make some sense of my loss through music, and this song was made into a reality because of them.

Sands Queensland provided us with great support and for this reason all profits for ‘Hurts Like Hell’ will be donated to the charity to enable them to continue offering excellent support to grieving parents.

Ross and Anna's friends gather to farewell Buddy
Ross and Anna’s friends gather to farewell Buddy

 

It would be very meaningful if you visited iTunes and showed your support through purchasing the track

 

Download ‘Hurts Like Hell’ at iTunes

 

I guess I’ll finish this by expressing some personal philosophies…

The ability to just sit in the rubble with someone when it hits the fan, is more valuable than anyone can imagine. To not be in intimidated by someone’s grief; to be present with them heart and soul, is utterly priceless to the person who is experiencing pain. It’s not what you say, its what you do. Life is short my friends; too short. Don’t live with unfinished business, and strive to accomplish peace within yourself and with others. None of us will be exempt form experiencing significant loss. Grief unites us all and is a process we will each have to surrender to at some stage in our lives. Have the courage to suffer, and the courage to be true to yourself.

We all have the ability to see beauty in the world; even in the face of such terrible adversity.

Thanks for your support.

 

Watch ‘Hurts Like Hell’ on Youtube

 

Free support resources are available for bereaved families and professionals at Sands Queensland.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sew Beautiful

Post by Georgia Bedford

Butterfly is the new Sands Queensland memory bag for newly bereaved parents. Volunteer Lyndell Price launched Butterfly on the 12th October 2013 at the annual Brisbane Sands Walk to Remember.

Memory boxes are not a new idea, Sands has pushed the envelope and created the new generation of memory box. Liaising closely with hospitals and bereaved parents the new memory box is a bag, which means it can fold flat, this is key with storage at a premium in hospitals. The memory bag has staple items of a blanket, ‘Precious Memories of Our Baby’ book and pen, Certificate of Life, Inkless Print Kit and Sand resources including a ‘Moments’ brochure with suggestion for parents to create memories. Being a bag it is easy for the nurses to add specific items as needed.

Lyndell is busy creating a network of bereaved mums who make and distribute Butterfly to their local hospital. This project enables bereaved mums to actively support the bereaved community, and puts sewing skills to good work.

Sadly the number of miscarriage, stillbirths and neonatal deaths is still too high, and Butterfly is in demand. So to help the Butterfly network, bereaved parents, grandparents, family and friends have been called upon to learn how to create these beautiful bags. The first sewing tutorial was held on the 8th February 2014 at the Uniting Church behind the Sands Brisbane office. Judie, Leonie and Nicky from Sunshine Linus, the ladies who created the pattern for the bag, showed Luana, Sandra, Anna, Kim and her mother-in-law Edna, Georgia and her mother, Colleen, how to create the beautiful Butterfly bags.

Many hands make light work
Many hands make light work

A demonstration on how to cut the material, irons at the ready, and then into the sewing. Matching panels, ironing on wadding, stitching in feet, lining up handles. After a very productive morning, we paused for a bite, cup of tea and a chat, we then returned to the machines for the tricky part … sewing in the zipper. At the end of the day we all ended up with a little tote bag to carry home our sewing supplies and the know-how to create many Butterfly bags for our own community.

Showing the finished bags
Showing off our bags to Kay

Kay McGrath from Channel 7’s Making a Difference joined us on the day, to interview Judy Clarkson, one of Sands founding members, Lyndell, Luana and Kim. Utilising the day to promote Sands Queensland to the broader community and to demonstrate the positive power of grief.

Kim being interviewed by the Channel 7 crew
Kim being interviewed by the Channel 7 crew

A special thank you goes out to Sunshine Linus and the wonderful Judie, Nicky and Leonie, for sharing their skills with us on the day. Sunshine Linus has also made over 40 bags for Sands to distribute to newly bereaved parents. Thank you ladies!

How can you help?

Become a Butterfly Coordinator for your area.

Make it

Request the memory bag pattern and make a sample bag. Once your sample has been approved we can send you material to make memory bags for Sands Queensland.

Check out our patterns and see what you can make.

All donated items can be sent to: PO Box 373, Rural View Qld, 4740.

Buy it

Follow our material guidelines and donate appropriate material.

Donate small white washcloths for the memory bag.
Sponsor a memory bag in memory of your baby at www. sandsqld.org.au

Support it

Follow one of our Butterfly Coordinators to find out what is specifically needed.

Share the project with your crafty friends and family, get together, make a sewing circle, encourage others to help out.
If you would like further information please contact Lyndell at events@sandsqld.com

 

A mother’s love is forever

May 4th was International Bereaved Mother’s Day, May 11th is Mother’s Day and the week in between is National Mothering Week.

We are still mothers and many of us mother our children who died, in a different way than if they were here with us. We want you to share with us how you mother your child. What do you do in their honour and to keep their memory alive?


This weekend we invite you to upload your photos and comments to our wall and please let us know if you are happy for us to repost and share your stories.

 

MD2014

 

 

Please take a moment to watch this year’s tribute to the wonderful Mothers we are.