How to give love and support on International Bereaved Mother’s Day

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May 7th is International Bereaved Mother’s Day.

It is a day for those in the Pregnancy and Infant Loss community to come together to show their support and recognition for those mothering children no longer here with them.Read More »

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Team Hayley 2015

Guest post by Kara Smith who is participating in this year’s Bridge to Brisbane

In May 2013 our second daughter, Hayley, was stillborn. It felt like our worlds came to a halt and souls were shattered. My husband and I have always been overweight but started making changes when our first daughter was on the way. However, after losing Hayley we sort of rebelled against the universe through junk food and put back on some of the weight we had lost. We decided we couldn’t keep going like that, so for all of our children and our health we again decided to make a change.Read More »

A New Butterfly at Harvey Bay

Guest post by Jodie Tangikara

My name is Jodie Tangikara and I am now the Butterfly Coordinator for Hervey Bay Hospital.

Let me tell you a little about my loss and how I ended up here. On the 22nd September 2012 I delivered my son at 19 weeks 5 days gestation after a 32 hour labour. Marcus was beautiful and only 17cm long and weighing 135g. The following day I was discharged from hospital to go home to my four beautiful children. Twenty four hours later I was placed back into hospital due to lack of blood in my body. After a night in hospital and three bags of blood I was right to go home. Four days later I was rushed back to hospital due to heavy bleeding. Some placenta had been left behind, which caused my body to get a infection. I was taken to surgery for a curet only to flat line on the table due to major blood loss. After two minutes of nurses trying to bring me back I finally had a heartbeat again. I spent the next four days in ICU to be closely monitored. Once I was given the all clear I left hospital to go pick up my sons ashes and go home to my family.

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A few months passed and I felt lost and needed to do something. I started a petition to get all babies recognised from the state government and after 18 months I finally accomplished it. Now the Queensland Births Deaths and Marriages issues In Loving Memory  Certificates for babies under 20 weeks gestation. I have also raised money for the SCN unit at Hervey Bay Hospital and money for a Cuddle Cot for the Maternity Ward.

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I ended up becoming a volunteer for Sands Queensland after speaking to Nicole the Sands Queensland Committee President at the In Loving Memory Certificate launch. Knowing what a difference this beautiful organisation does I wanted to be a part of it and help families in need. I look forward to moving forward with sands and hope I can make a difference.

 

You can help support Jodie at Marcus’s Butterfly

 

To learn more about the Sands Queensland Memory Bags, please visit our Website HERE and if you would like to know more about how to become a Butterfly Coordinator in your area, please email Lyndell at events@sandsqld.org.au

 

 

Rockhampton Butterfly fundraises for a Cuddle Cot

After the success of the Cairns Cuddle Cot fundraiser, several parents have approached Sands Queensland to help them fundraise for a cuddle cot at their local hospital.

Marga is the Butterfly Coordinator at Rockhampton, providing the Sands Queensland memory bag to Rockhampton Base and is proudly organising fundraising for the next Cuddle Cot through Sands.

‘Hi my name is Marga and I am the mother of two beautiful children.  I had never heard of Sands until I had the heartbreak of losing my daughter Paige, which was the most amazing yet saddest time of my life. Over the years I have found myself wanting to get involved in something that would help me through my grief and do something my children and family would be proud of but most of all to honour the memory of Paige; so when the opportunity to become a Butterfly Coordinator was made available for Sands Queensland I didn’t give it a second thought.  To be apart of this program that makes such beautiful gifts for bereaved parents has been the best decision I have made.’

Marga Quinlan on her role as Butterfly Coordinator for Sands Queensland

Equipping a hospital with a Cuddle Cot system is about giving bereaved parents a choice on how they spend their time with baby. The system allows the baby to be kept cool, without being taken away from parents and family, so they can spend the time they need with their baby. As any bereaved parent will tell you, more time is what is wanted most. It allows more time for parents to collect memories such as photos, prints, casts, and even introducing baby to family.

If you are a member of Sands Queensland you can join the fundraising team at Every Day Hero by emailing events@sandsqld.com

or if you would like to support this cause and make a tax deductible donation

Donate Now

 

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Grace’s Gathering and the Wave of Polish

Last year saw the first Wave of Polish held during October for International Pregnancy and Infant Loss (IPIL) month. A challenge was issued to paint your nails blue and pink each Tuesday to help raise awareness of pregnancy and infant loss. The event was a success with many showing their support and we hope this year will be bigger and better.

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Theresa Carter organised the event and in conjunction with the Wave of Polish campaign she will be holding an auction of one off polishes made by some amazing Australian Indies and also some gorgeous pastels from amazing Australian polish brands. The auction will start on the 8th October at 9am and finish on the 15th October. Visit WAVE OF POLISH BLOGSPOT for all the details.

Last year funds raised were donated to Sands Australia and helped fund ‘Grace’s Gathering’, in memory of Theresa and Rod’s daughter Grace. These meetings gave the wonderful volunteer parent supporters at Sands an opportunity to connect with other supporters, share ideas and support, and receive further training to enable them to better support bereaved parents

 

Sands Queensland Grace's Gathering at Sands House, New Farm.
Sands Queensland Grace’s Gathering at Sands House, New Farm.

 

At the beginning of each gathering a poem written by Theresa was read out. Each and everyone of us were touched by Theresa’s words and we would like to thank her for sharing a part of Grace with us and bringing us all together.

The following is the poem written by Theresa in memory of her daughter Grace.

 

 

You say just get over it.

You weren’t there the day we held our daughter, in our arms the first and the last time.

You say haven’t you grieved enough?

You weren’t there to rub her face as she struggled to cling on to life.

You say you can have another one.

You weren’t there to answer yes, turn life support off on this child, of yours,

Your child part of YOU.

You say time will fix all.

You weren’t there to watch her take her last breath, while your heart shattered into 1000 pieces.

You say its time to move on.

You weren’t there when I was aching, screaming and rocking in pain at night,

just to hold my baby,

just one more touch.

You say she wouldn’t want me to be sad.

You weren’t there the days I ripped at the grass on her grave, just wanting to see her face one more time

You say I have another child, life must be normal for him.

You weren’t there the nights I rocked him to sleep, as he wanted his little sister.

You say you must look after your husband.

You weren’t there the days I wiped tears, from his face just so he could get to work.

You say it all over and over again,

I know you mean well and I forgive you,

because you weren’t there…..

Theresa 28th September 2003