The Unlikely Sisterhood of Miscarriage

Guest post by author Karin Holmes

When I lost my baby in July 2011 to a miscarriage, I made a new acquaintance. It was an unpleasant one – loneliness that also brought his good friend depression along.Read More »

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Trek to Honour Finn

Guest post by Lauren Holden, Finn’s Mum

My husband, Paul, and I were so thrilled to be expecting our first baby. We were both in our forties and excited about introducing our child to all the wonderful people, places and creatures in the world. The nursery was ready and we had spent months choosing the absolute best for our baby.Read More »

Team Hayley 2015

Guest post by Kara Smith who is participating in this year’s Bridge to Brisbane

In May 2013 our second daughter, Hayley, was stillborn. It felt like our worlds came to a halt and souls were shattered. My husband and I have always been overweight but started making changes when our first daughter was on the way. However, after losing Hayley we sort of rebelled against the universe through junk food and put back on some of the weight we had lost. We decided we couldn’t keep going like that, so for all of our children and our health we again decided to make a change.Read More »

A New Butterfly at Harvey Bay

Guest post by Jodie Tangikara

My name is Jodie Tangikara and I am now the Butterfly Coordinator for Hervey Bay Hospital.

Let me tell you a little about my loss and how I ended up here. On the 22nd September 2012 I delivered my son at 19 weeks 5 days gestation after a 32 hour labour. Marcus was beautiful and only 17cm long and weighing 135g. The following day I was discharged from hospital to go home to my four beautiful children. Twenty four hours later I was placed back into hospital due to lack of blood in my body. After a night in hospital and three bags of blood I was right to go home. Four days later I was rushed back to hospital due to heavy bleeding. Some placenta had been left behind, which caused my body to get a infection. I was taken to surgery for a curet only to flat line on the table due to major blood loss. After two minutes of nurses trying to bring me back I finally had a heartbeat again. I spent the next four days in ICU to be closely monitored. Once I was given the all clear I left hospital to go pick up my sons ashes and go home to my family.

jodieT

 

A few months passed and I felt lost and needed to do something. I started a petition to get all babies recognised from the state government and after 18 months I finally accomplished it. Now the Queensland Births Deaths and Marriages issues In Loving Memory  Certificates for babies under 20 weeks gestation. I have also raised money for the SCN unit at Hervey Bay Hospital and money for a Cuddle Cot for the Maternity Ward.

JodieT2

 

I ended up becoming a volunteer for Sands Queensland after speaking to Nicole the Sands Queensland Committee President at the In Loving Memory Certificate launch. Knowing what a difference this beautiful organisation does I wanted to be a part of it and help families in need. I look forward to moving forward with sands and hope I can make a difference.

 

You can help support Jodie at Marcus’s Butterfly

 

To learn more about the Sands Queensland Memory Bags, please visit our Website HERE and if you would like to know more about how to become a Butterfly Coordinator in your area, please email Lyndell at events@sandsqld.org.au

 

 

Sands Queensland supports Queensland Government “In Loving Memory” Initiative.

Parents who have experienced an early pregnancy loss (before 20 weeks gestation) will be able to honour the memory of their baby with a new commemorative certificate, issued by the registry of Births, Deaths and Marriages in Queensland.

The initiative was successfully campaigned by mum Jodie Tangikara, who was the first to receive one of the new certificates in memory of her son Marcus Tangikara.

Jodie Tangikara receiving her certificate
Jodie Tangikara receiving her certificate

 

In Loving Memory of Marcus
In Loving Memory of Marcus

 

Sands Queensland Committee President, Nicole Ireland attended the presentation of the first certificate to Jodie and Hayden Tangikara, along with Attorney-General and Minister for Justice Jarrod Bleijie and Hervey Bay MP Ted Sorensen on October 29th.

 

Attorney-General and Minister for Justice Jarrod Bleijie with Hayden and Jodie Tangikara, bereaved parents support group Sands Queensland president Nicole Ireland and Hervey Bay MP Ted Sorensen in Scarness for the certificate presentation.
Attorney-General and Minister for Justice Jarrod Bleijie with Hayden and Jodie Tangikara, bereaved parents support group Sands Queensland president Nicole Ireland and Hervey Bay MP Ted Sorensen in Scarness for the certificate presentation.

 

Sands Queensland President Nicole Ireland said,

“We commend the Queensland Government’s willingness to response to parents requesting a certificate to recognise babies who die before 20 weeks gestation. Acknowledging loss and creating memories is a vital step in dealing with the grief which comes from the death of a baby and this certificate will support that process.

Sands Queensland has maintained a long partnership with the Queensland Government, through Queensland Health, and we are pleased to have had the opportunity to work with the team at Births, Deaths and Marriages to ensure these certificates meet the needs of bereaved parents. Our focus at Sands is supporting parents, their families and friends through one of the most difficult times in their lives and we know many parents will chose to receive one of these certificates”

Certificates can be ordered through Birth, Deaths, Marriages Queensland online HERE.

Information from the Queensland Government can be found HERE.

For further information from Sands Queensland, please visit our website HERE.

Grace’s Gathering and the Wave of Polish

Last year saw the first Wave of Polish held during October for International Pregnancy and Infant Loss (IPIL) month. A challenge was issued to paint your nails blue and pink each Tuesday to help raise awareness of pregnancy and infant loss. The event was a success with many showing their support and we hope this year will be bigger and better.

WOP-001

Theresa Carter organised the event and in conjunction with the Wave of Polish campaign she will be holding an auction of one off polishes made by some amazing Australian Indies and also some gorgeous pastels from amazing Australian polish brands. The auction will start on the 8th October at 9am and finish on the 15th October. Visit WAVE OF POLISH BLOGSPOT for all the details.

Last year funds raised were donated to Sands Australia and helped fund ‘Grace’s Gathering’, in memory of Theresa and Rod’s daughter Grace. These meetings gave the wonderful volunteer parent supporters at Sands an opportunity to connect with other supporters, share ideas and support, and receive further training to enable them to better support bereaved parents

 

Sands Queensland Grace's Gathering at Sands House, New Farm.
Sands Queensland Grace’s Gathering at Sands House, New Farm.

 

At the beginning of each gathering a poem written by Theresa was read out. Each and everyone of us were touched by Theresa’s words and we would like to thank her for sharing a part of Grace with us and bringing us all together.

The following is the poem written by Theresa in memory of her daughter Grace.

 

 

You say just get over it.

You weren’t there the day we held our daughter, in our arms the first and the last time.

You say haven’t you grieved enough?

You weren’t there to rub her face as she struggled to cling on to life.

You say you can have another one.

You weren’t there to answer yes, turn life support off on this child, of yours,

Your child part of YOU.

You say time will fix all.

You weren’t there to watch her take her last breath, while your heart shattered into 1000 pieces.

You say its time to move on.

You weren’t there when I was aching, screaming and rocking in pain at night,

just to hold my baby,

just one more touch.

You say she wouldn’t want me to be sad.

You weren’t there the days I ripped at the grass on her grave, just wanting to see her face one more time

You say I have another child, life must be normal for him.

You weren’t there the nights I rocked him to sleep, as he wanted his little sister.

You say you must look after your husband.

You weren’t there the days I wiped tears, from his face just so he could get to work.

You say it all over and over again,

I know you mean well and I forgive you,

because you weren’t there…..

Theresa 28th September 2003