International Bereaved Father’s Day

September 22nd, 2013 is International Bereaved Father’s Day. A day founded by Carly Marie over at Project Heal.

It is a day to honour those fathers who know the pain of losing a child, and to acknowledge that they are still fathers.

I am a Father

When your child dies you learn to parent them in a different way. Opportunities to say their name, remember them, and show others you are a father to that child as well, can an important part of honouring your child.

This year I asked the fathers in the Sands group if they would like to be part of a tribute to them and their children. Thank you to the Fathers that shared their children with us – Trevor, Jon, Cole, Craig, Michael, Andrew and Damien.

~ Lyndell ~

One Father’s Day

Guest post by Lee Maskiell, father of Riley Elliott Maskiell

The world has changed.

The world has fundamentally altered since Riley left. He was here for 40 weeks and then he was taken away with no explanations offered. Now I sit here and the television is unwavering in bombarding me with advertisements about what to buy Dad for Father’s day. This hurts me; but only to a point as I know that these ads will end when the retailers have reached their sales targets.

What hurts more is walking the streets and the real bombardment begins upon seeing Fathers yelling at their children, belittling their children or just raising their eyebrows and wishing that they were somewhere other than with their children. It hurts so deeply because I would give up a part of myself to have that moment of Riley opening his eyes and hearing my voice, even just once, telling him that I love him.

Father’s day hurts but it is one day, the pain of losing Riley is forever.

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For Our Dads

Hello there Mr. Hallmark man,

I wrote to you in May

To ask that words of love be shared,

With my mom on Mother’s Day.

Just as there is no card for Mum

To let her know I care,

There is no card for my dad, too,

And I have so much to share.

It’s very hard for my loving dad

To know that I’m okay.

To protect me was his job, he feels,

So he thinks he failed some way.

Although I had to leave this world,

While still considered young,

There is no way he ever failed—

There’s no more he could have done.

My dad he tends to question

Those things he cannot see.

I always send him little signs

To say, “Hey, Dad, it’s me!”

I hear him crying in the car,

The shower hides his tears.

He feels he has to be so strong

For those he holds so dear.

My dad he often gets so mad

At what became of me.

He wants so much to understand,

He says, “How could this be?

”I somehow need to let him know,

Though impossible it seems—

For him to live and laugh again

Will fulfill so many dreams.

The card I need to send right now

To a dad as great as mine,

Will thank him for the love he gave

Throughout my brief lifetime.

He’s still the one that I call Dad

,Our bond’s forever strong,

‘Cuz even though he can’t see me,

Our love lives on and on.

Please help me find a way

To tell my dad that when

It comes his time to leave the earth

I’ll be waiting there for him.

And also, Mr. Hallmark man,

Please help him to believe,

That nothing will ever change the fact

That my dad he’ll always be.

Source: Grieving Dad’s Project

I am a Father