Guest post by Leisa Andersen
I used to feel that my grief and how I dealt with it wasn’t validated, was too ‘over the top’. I mean we were only 15 weeks. He wasn’t a ‘real’ baby, a legal baby. Small enough to hold him in the palm of a hand, but we could still count 10 little fingers and 10 little toes. I’ve since come to realise it doesn’t matter. 15 weeks or 40 weeks, the outcome is the same…they’re gone.
From the start you love them. You plan, you make changes, you stop eating the wrong foods and start taking the right vitamins. I learned it’s OK to grieve and it’s OK to do what you need to do to keep going. There is no right or wrong, just what’s right for you.
Physically he may have been small, bit what we lost was so much bigger than that: the life promised by those two blue lines; the child that was going to complete our family; the brother that our son had been longing for. A lifetime lost in a moment.
The 7th of February was 1 year since we met and held Baby James. I’ve wanted to share a photo for a long time but have always been worried about how it may affect others (friends and family) so have held back. Today I share this photo proudly as one of my most cherished photos.
If you, or someone you know needs support through pregnancy and infant loss, Sands has an extensive list of resources and support services freely available, please visit www.sandsqld.org.au
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